I may have unreasonable expectations, and unrealistic goals (typos inevitable, very tired, please forgive) when it comes to finding someone that I want to spend the rest of my days with. Synergy is the name of the goal. I expect my thoughts, goals, and desires, will eventually converge with my future spouse's to the point that we can say whole sentences with just a look. I want to be loved as deeply as I feel I'm capable of loving, and I want room for potential even unending growth. I want a small act of kindness to speak volumes and at the same time have no need of explanation. It would be seemingly telepathic com
munication, but much better, because even telepathic thoughsharing would take explanation. I want perfect understanding. I also want this relationship to be perfetly equal. I want to love and need my wife, just as much as she would love and need me. I want us to be totally devoted to work toward any goal that would be beneficial to our relationship. I WANT US TO BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING! I feel like I cannot even adequately define the depth, breadth, and scope of this . . . . . . . thing. . . .I don't care if it takes a million years, but I expect that if I meet the right person it wouldn't take a whole lifetime to develop this harmonious relationship. I welcome the opportunity to let myself go and even sacrifice myself to be one with my wife.
I don't know why but I am focused on a few key qualities to a healthy relationship: an almost over emphasis on mutual devotion, almost over emphasized trust, reliance on the gospel, and an awareness/attention to all aspects of a well balanced relationship. (physical, emotional, financial, personal, interpersonal, paternal/maternal aspects, etc... just to cover all my bases)
This is probably unrealistic, I see how much my parents can sometimes disagree. But nonetheless I am simultaneously bursting and imploding to give and recieve.
Actually harmony wouldn't be the technically correct term, the real parallel idea would be wave resonance
This is the same way violins, and other instruments work, waves interplay at the right frequencies, and distances from each other to do things that they couldn't do by themselves, its a powerful concept, used to keep bridges from falling down, and create beautiful music. It also occurs in magnetism, electical fields, light waves, and I hope in marriages.
6 comments:
How odd. It takes you 8 months to update your blog and you include a video that made me want to break my computer 30 seconds into it. That video should have come with some sort of warning. I have my volume set at 32 right now and I lowered the Youtube volume to almost nothing and STILL was surprised with how loud it was. Stupid higher frequencies!
I look forward to going out to dinner with you and the future Mrs Wong decades from now when you two exchange blank stares, only to have you blurt out suddenly "Oh come on!"
Arrgh! I hate resonance!
One thought: This kind of relationship takes a long time to create, so don't count someone out if you're not feelin' it immediately.
Also, reading this post makes me want to feed you cupcakes and hug it out. It'll be okay, lil' camper! Don't stop believin'!
You know, I totally agree with you. I think that's how a relationship should be. Which is probably why I'm still single... But I really don't think that any relationship should be one-sided--both people need to feel like they're the lucky one, but at the same time, know deep down that they deserve the person they're with. And also they need to have that unspoken connection you mentioned; like they've always known each other and were meant to be together. I don't know, maybe you and I are just hopeless romantics, but I haven't given up on my fairy tale just yet :) Oh, and after reading the comments on this post, where somebody said "don't stop believin'" I burst out into a spontaneous Journey impersonation... So, you might want to take that into consideration when determining the sanity of my comments.
Hello - I hope you don't mind me dropping by and leaving a note.
We met at Krista and John's wedding. . . .I was the weird woman in the blue dress.
Anyway, I spent a LOT of my late teens and early 20s trying to create a relationship that is very similar to what you describe. And I failed. Miserably.
Will I ever get married some day? I don't know. The thought is a pleasant one. I would certainly like to share my life with someone for the rest of my life. But none of us get that guarantee. So. Take care of yourself. Make yourself the best 'you' you can possibly be. And the rest will take care of itself.
Life is not easy. It is both more difficult and more rewarding than I ever thought possible.
Sometimes, leaving a little mystery is nice. :)
And if you want to read some seriously wise words, try "The Mastery of Love" by Don Miguel Ruiz. Or "If Love is a Game, These are the Rules".
Nate- that is one of the BEST descriptions of Love and respect for a marriage I have read in a long time.
You will get that.
Somedays I even think Paul and I have that. (somedays!)
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